Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Anchors of distant contrast

I've lived on this world for 18 years now, and one of the things that I've noticed bugs me the most, is the separation of church denominations all over the world. It's not so much getting worse these days, but it's just more accessible, with the internet. One pastor can't speak to another pastor for such and such reason, and the whole church gives that church a cold shoulder.

While reading a facebook debate between two Christians about who even knows what (Why am I reading? Because I'm human). I notice an argument between two Christians of different beliefs could go on forever. Like a two football coaches of different NFL teams, yelling at each other about who can do the most push-ups, without actually doing push-ups. Why no push-ups? Cause when I see these debates I rarely see any of these people bring up scripture in a debate.  

"You are my refuge and my shield;
I have put my hope in your word."-Psalms 119:114

Why does this bug me? Because I'm a peace keeper, I hate conflict and any kind. So I resorted to this magical book of wisdom that I like to refer to as ""The Bible" (Some people put "Holy" between "The" and "Bible"). Nonetheless, It's still the Bible. Whether you use your phone, or the actually book is irrelevant, It's still scripture. And if it did rack up points with the big guy, we'd have a lot more people walking around with thousands of scrolls in wagons while wearing robes and sandals.

This popped up on my "Verse of the day" application the other day, it was kind of ironic, so decided to launch it.





"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." -Romans 15:5-6



Notice how we are all to have the same attitude of mind toward *GASP* Each other?!?!?!? I don't think that meant that we we're to bicker more about who's getting the biggest share of heaven. I think that's saying we're to be more united, as one voice.

Now if you're about to start pointing fingers as to who started the argument, then put that sorry little finger back in your pocket, I've got a verse for that too!

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"-Romans 8:31

So Who can be against you when the creator of the universe is for you? No one.

I'm Jonathan, and I belong to him.



Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Is it really this simple?

I'm sitting here at 10:30pm writing this because I cannot find sleep in my consciousness. My life is before me and I seem to not be able to do anything to get myself forward. I just get motivated, and then suddenly I get hit with this wave of whispering consciousness, that's telling me I'm stupid, that I can't do anything, that I'm worthless.

But I know this is far from truth. I know that God has greater plans for me, and I know that he loves me more than I could ever comprehend. I love him so so much. He uses me as a tool in so many of my friends lives, and it's been so amazing to see them grow in faith with him, as they walk the road with him.

But here I am, stuck, and my feet are stuck to the ground, I'm to nervous about my future that I can't do anything about it. It's sad butt true, I'm week in the area of integrity. But in me I know one thing I love. Is preaching God's name, telling people the truth, and showing compassion where other's wouldn't. I love to represent forgiveness as a whole. I love who I am.

Is that my problem? Do I love who I am so much that I'm to scared to move forward in my life? That might be the case. but one thing I need to remind myself, is that I have a spiritual gift. And I know God will utilize that, for his greater glory. And I'm very happy to oblige.

I've come to the conclusion that the only thing holding me back is doubt. Because I want to go into pastoral studies, but the thing holding me back is not any part of me. It's just the demons inside of my soul telling me that I'm worthless. Why would they do that? Because I know that I have the capability to reach out my long, clumsy arms, and touch so many people's lives. That is why the devil would be working against me. It explains a lot.

I'm only wrote this for my own sanity. I just needed to clear my mind. I do apologize about this.

My name is Jonathan, and I belong to him.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Suffering

Look, I've gone through life trying to help people, and sometimes it's just gotten me in a lot of trouble myself. And it's hard to know that something terribly wrong is going on with a loved one, and they don't see it. It's like cutting your own hand without realizing it. And not even checking if someone tells you it's happening. One common thing, so many different people with different personality traits have said this. And these are words that I just hate hearing.

"You just don't understand" 

Two of my closest friends have told me this in the past month. You know what? most of the time I do not know the pain they are feeling in that situation. But the thing that pains me the most about those words, is the fact that they just gave in to blindness. They just turned to deceiving themselves into believing that they are special, and that no one can help their miserable little life. 

I don't mean to be talking down to these people at all. I do love to help. But one thing I've come to realize about these people, is that they have no idea what they are saying. Basically it's saying "You don't know what it's like to suffer" Is that true? Of-freaking-course it's not! Everybody knows what suffering feels like. 

It's just our own bitter demise that temps ourselves into believing that we are experiencing a special kind of pain. Pain is a heavy load, but you know what? When friends,  and family are offering to help even out that heavy load, I'd let them. Bilbo says it very well, in lord of the rings. "I feel like butter being scraped across to much bread" 

The other thing, is that we have to be open to suffering. Suffering is something that we all must encounter before we reach our final destination. It's literally impossible to go through life without some amount of pain, or suffering. But does it help to know that there is someone up in the sky, who knows what is best for you? yes, and knows that you'll enjoy the results of this suffering much more than anything you could dream up on your own. How does he know? It's easy, he created you for that purpose! 

I see suffering as a challenge, is like a test that God is giving us. Just so see how well we push through, and if we still have faith; and if we glorify his name. Why on earth would you want to fail this test? Heck, I wouldn't. Whenever I feel like I'm suffering, I'm usually quick to remind myself how much pain, and suffering Jesus went through when he died on the cross. Very very little pain in reality. We should be very grateful. 

Hmmmm....

How am I going to leave you with this? Try to be more open when you feel emotional pain. It might up to share the pain your experiencing. And I'm not saying you should go around telling strangers your sad story, I'm saying that when someone lends a hand, go ahead and take it. 

Wake up and leave your one person pity party! There is a God who loves you. 

Psalms 34: 17-18 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." 

My name is Jonathan, I belong to him. 

Monday, April 7, 2014

I belong to him.

Last night was my last performance of my last show I will probably ever be in. And I look forward now to college, or I'm trying to at least.

As I'm singing the last song, I look out into the audience and see my mom, almost in tears, as this is her last curtain call from her line of six kids. I made her proud, I can tell cause she was crying. Looking around at all my friends I've made in the past four years here in this drama group. They are all smiling and rejoicing God's name.

As the song finishes, the lights go down. I look over at my friend, who played the main character. I give him a hug. He doesn't see the tear in my eye, but I let him know that he is going to be missed. Walking off the stage two of the girls who played big parts give me high fives, and a pat on the back. This just sent me through it all.

I felt my lip curl over and my eyes start to water, i quickly escape to the bathroom and pull myself back together. Leaning over the sink I look at myself, and suddenly I see a man before my eyes, It was a moment of realization for me, that I had grown up, and I have responsibilities now. My life was before me, and it is up to me, to follow God's plan and glorify his name along the way.

I have faith in myself to follow God. Now I know I'm not very good at writing, science, or math. But one thing I absolutely love is helping people, talking to people, and encouraging people. I have no idea where i would be be without God guiding me, and my words, when my friend come to me for help.

Another thing I'd like to talk about is my parents. They home schooled six kids willingly. And I was a surprise child, being born five years after my next youngest sister. And my parents have home schooled for 26 years. That very well could have been 21 when my sister graduated, and put me in school. But thank God that they didn't. I don't have anything against the public school system. I just like home schooling better. And it has given me time in my own life to invest in my friendships, music, family, and photography. All things I love.

I must say, to God. I can't thank him enough for all he's done for me. And a line from the play that strikes me through the heart, is that "I belong to him" It gets me every time. He's given me his life on the cross. And it only makes sense that I'd pay him back with my life as well. I can't even express how thankful I am for my King, who has done so much for me. It makes me emotional just thinking about it. My life is before him, as well as it is before me. It's just that he knows more than I do. Which, if you think about it, is pretty freaking awesome.

My name is Jonathan, and I belong to him.






Monday, March 3, 2014

For the boys.

Now a very common argument between men is manliness and what is considered "Manly" and it's understandable, honestly the only reason men argue about this is self confidence as to whether or not they have a chance at getting a girl or not.  Personally I find insecurity about being a man, very un-manly. I'm sure that looks so mature that we get into Facebook debates about who is the manliest. But lets just step back, forget everything we know about manliness and just look at what it means to be a man.

You may say that being able to tame a grizzly bear family, on your own, is manly. If not you may also say that being able to wrestle a giant squid in the ocean, is manly. I must say, being able to do either of those would be very impressive. Though impressive is not what manliness is, and if it was, there are a lot of very manly woman in this world, I must say.

But you take those ideas away, stop showing off you mad guitar skills...basically stop being an idiot. And look at the origin of men. Men were the first people to wear tights in the middle ages, and that was considered very "Manly" and lets be serious, that doesn't make them gay in any way. That just make them perverts, there is a reason they wanted wore tights, and wore make-up, to impress the ladies. And lets be serious, the root of it is impressing the ladies. And that is what was considered manly at that point.

Your probably like "So whats this have to do with being manly?" and patience, I'm getting there.

Have you ever been swing dancing? Or maybe even ballroom? If not then I'll give you a secret. If you are the man of the couple, you are leading. You are the one who is leading the woman into all kinds of tricks and stuff. And if you are good at leading, great, woman find that impressive. You know why?

There is nothing more manly than being a good leader. 

Now before you get a team together for capture the flag, and become today's playground tyrant. I'm going to let you in on a few...A lot of secrets to being a good leader. Cause there is nothing more harmful than power. You can interpret power however you want, whether it being money, strength, knowledge or if you have all of those. You may win immediately, but the long term win turns out to be a loss. I've seen this for like...a every guy I know, including myself. "Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinion."


Now here are a few things you will need to have down in order to claim ultimate manliness. My Pastor spoke on this a couple weeks ago, and gave me these ideas.

1: You should always be above reproach.

2: You need to be a faithful husband/fiance/boyfriend. Cause loyalty and honesty are the most important things in a relationship.

3: Balanced, make sure you are balanced in every number on this list. It's hard, but worth it in return.

4: Self Control, this is where the power is to be challenged. You might say "I don't have issues with power" but that's exactly what you would say. Right?

5: Respectable, this is also to be applied to every number on this list.

6: Hospitable, no, this doesn't mean you should be able to clean your house, though that would be nice. But this means you are to be able to interact "Politely" with people. the actual definition for this is "friendly and welcoming to strangers or guests" 

7: Able to to teach, this is my hardest. You are able to teach, I know this for sure. But you might not be a big group teacher. One on one teaching might be more your thing, Or the other way around. 

8: Not a drunkard. Yes, I said it. And you know who you are. 

9: Not violent. Yes, I said that too. You know who you are as well. I hope that if you struggled with abusive situations in your life, that you can slowely get over it. Not by gaining power on your own, but just becoming okay with it. and perhaps helping people in similar situations. Imagine being able to be hospitable, loyal, and able to teach, at the same time. 

10: Not quarrelsome, "given to or characterized by quarreling" Basically don't be a jerk. This goes with 8 and 9. 

11: Not a lover of money. This is a place where people struggle with balance. Its okay to have lots of money, just don't obsess about it. 

12: Good father. Leader, teacher. Teach family to respect, and be hospitable. 

13: Be a mature follower of Christ. You are just now realizing that this is all bionically based. And some of you may be rolling your eyes. But if I had you up to this point, then why stop now? Maturity is an amazing thing, as long as you have come to realize age has never made anyone wise. 

14: You must represent Christ well. In favor with God, and Men. 


That's all I know about manliness. Now I quoted something above the list. "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions." I would like to take this time to say, that was from the holy Bible. That was Proverbs 18:2. In fact if you read the whole book of proverbs over and over again, you will start to uncover some serious truth. 

Thank you for reading, and I hope you can take as much out of this, as I have. 


Friday, January 24, 2014

When Dearth is Crowned: Is earth at stake?

Timothy was ticked. David wasn’t here yet, and it’s been fifteen minutes since the phone call. He should be here by now.  Maybe he was dead, wouldn’t be disappointed. The slob was good for only two things, playing video games, and breaching the wall between countries and starting global warfare. He was something short of a threat, just didn’t know it.

Trevor looked up from his desk with three flat screen monitors, “Guess what?”

“Where on earth is David?” He said this without looking.

“He’s on his way, his tracker shows that he’s only a few minutes away.”

“You have him on a tracker?”

His mouth hung open, while he gathered his thoughts. “Yeah, he’s a threat to any nation that is within our atmosphere, he’s under strict curfews, and diets.”

“Oh, is that what you were going to tell me?” He was calmer, conversations calm him down.

“No, I forgot to mention that there are alerts about blue lasers of death raining from the sky, in Idaho. Apparently aliens have landed, and are destroying everything.”

This wasn’t even slightly funny, “Not funny, I don’t want to joke around right now.”

Trevor picked a piece of paper off the printer, and slid it across the planning table, it read “Aliens landing in Idaho, entire cities destroyed in a matter of hours.”

“You do realize that an alien invasion is not a ‘guess what?’ matter. How did we miss this?”

“We didn’t, the United States government did. We’re on our own. Only funded by them.” This was unfortunate for millions of people. But in reality, what could we do about rays of light shining down on us, mirrors? Dumb idea. Worth a try though.

Timothy was pondering about all of this for a while, “Then what of the rabies infestation in Greenland? Its turning humans into complete raging fools. And seems to be spreading quite rapidly.” His mind was racing, why was this all happening at the same time?

Trevor didn’t say much, “We can’t worry about either of these things until we locate Heather, and get her back. She is the key to fixing everything that is going on, she just needs to believe.”

This was intriguing, “Believe, in what?”

Trevor walked down an aisle, between rows of analysts, geniuses, and foreign computers. “White men built this country on beliefs that have been ditched. ‘This nation, under God’ you know what I’m talking about?”

He knew, just didn’t want to talk about it, he looked at papers that didn’t mean anything to him, within the past three days he has found out that he has a cousin, she has been kidnapped by a nation, and probably brain washing her.

Trevor spoke, looking right at Tim, “And about the rabies, don’t be afraid to call it what you want too. Its more dangerous than most are making it out to be, we both know what zombies are, and I don’t want to be fooli-“

“Whoa whoa, when did anyone say anything about zombies?” He was so confused, alians, zombies, nations bombing nations, Heather captured. Everything was going wrong.

“The rabies in Greenland, it started with a bite from a (animal). The doctor went home and overnight, he turned into a crazed lunatic, and tore apart his wife a-“

“Stop! Talking! Let me get my breath before you continue, this is a lot for someone who isn’t used to all this, this…” he didn’t finish, a doctor tore apart his wife. That’s something the zombies in video games do, not in reality. This was making him nauseous, but what the heck, “Kay, keep going.” 

“the doctor broke into people’s houses, and starts biting. That apparently converts, you know how zombies work. The whole town has turned now. And whoever was left died, of heat exhaustion, and dehydration.”

Greenland, heat, wait what? “Wait you mean in Iceland?

Trevor knew what he was thinking, “No, I mean in Greenland. It seems that not only are the towns turning, but the weather as well. It’s been hitting up to one hundred degrees, that’s never happened in Greenland, ever.”

Timothy started to get it now, “So it’s like a plague, as it spreads, people will start turning without even being bitten, right?”

“No, it’s just gets very hot, nobody that knows about this infestation, understands.” This all makes sense now. Trevor pulled his phone out of his back pocket, it just then vibrated, “He’s here.”


“Excellent!” 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

When Death is Crowned: Whats in the skies?

News reporters were covering news of the Russian airstrike in New York. No one knew what provoked this incident. No one knew anything. But naturally the mainstream media was taking it out of context, blowing it out of proportion, and using it as a political crowbar against anyone who opposed them, and they’re opinions.

Stephan Phillips clicked off his ten year old, tube TV. Sick of all the words people said. Hoping that Jesus would come back and just save all the people who deserved it, If anyone truly did. Or maybe everyone would just shut their mouths, and keep their ideas to themselves.

Mumbling under his breath “Hipcrits.” He stood up and walked across his small ranch house into his bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror. He was getting old, thirty-six years of age. He noticed wrinkles above his eyes, played around with them.

“Hon, Would you like to cut the turkey?” His wife yelled from in the kitchen.

“In a minute!” He didn’t want to cut the turkey, but he always did, he didn’t want to ruin Nana’s happiness with his grumpiness.

He opened the door and slowly made his way down the hall. No noticed the paper on the floor by the front door. “Rabies infest research facility, in Greenland.”

He spoke in his deep, weak, voice “Yeah, right. Next thing we know they will be saying stuff about Zombies, may the Lord of pity on this generation.”

He walked into the kitchen, rather humble. No dishwasher. The sink had been newly remodeled, with a chrome faucet. He opened up the drawer, with rusted gliders, and grabbed a semi-dull knife; and started slicing the turkey into pieces.

Sarah spoke in her soft voice, “Honey, I’ve needed to talk to you.” She seemed, to pity herself. Was she sleeping with another man?  

There was a long pause; she was waiting for him, “Go ahead, what is it?” He dreaded saying these words.

“Um, I’m moving out of the house. I haven’t worked through the details. But I’m leaving tonight, after dinner.” She spat these words out with no shame at all. She was obviously over him already.

He wasn’t sure if now was a good time to ruin her happiness, with his grumpiness. But he didn’t want this to happen. They’ve been married since their early twenties. They’ve gone through so much.

He spoke, “Hon, look, I don’t wan’t this to happ-“

She interrupted, “What was that? I can’t hear you!” Here she goes… “All you do is sit around, mumbling, and watching TV. You don’t even keep up the farm anymore. What’s your secret, Laziness? I’m leaving you, and I don’t even know where I’m going! But as long as it’s away from You, I do-“

His turn to talk, “Well then get out! Do you have to sit there pointing fingers at me? See if I care! I’m getting old! I can only do so much, with these crippled hands!” His argument was weak, if this was happening he just needed to let go.

She stood up and started down the hall to the bedroom, “I’m leaving tonight and there is nothing you can do about it; unless I see change in your heart, right now!”

He just stood there in the kitchen holding the knife, pondering what he could do, to change this. He still loved her, though she had no desire to be there any longer with him.

She stormed down the hall and left some bags by the door. She opened the small closet, exposing her many jackets, and his one pair of shoes. She sat on the stairway leading up, while putting her shoes on; glaring at him. She sighed hard, and opened the door.

It opened with intensity, slammed against the wall, ouch. She stormed out, and slammed it closed. “Don’t ask me to come back. Our memories are gone. I hate what we used to have!”

He stood and paced to the door with intensity, he opened it up and saw her closing the trunk to her car, his car. “Hon, that’s not you’-“

“Do not, call me hon. I am not your hon! And screw you, I’m taking the car!” She sat in the car.

He stood there, a single tear fell down his cheek. Was this really happening, all so fast. “Fine, take the car. I won’t need it anyways.”

She turned on the car, looked at him, and then shrugged; and started driving down the long curvy dirt road. The emotions felt exactly like that; like a curvy road, of perfection, and suddenly a cliff, and she grew wings, and left him for dead.  

Just then, he felt a strong gust of wind, forcing him back inside. He scrambled to his feet. Flung the door back open, and ran out into is lawn, or what was remaining of the grass. Another gust caught his feet and sent him to his knees. He heard a crack in the sky, he covered his ears. Was this lighting?

Looking into the sky her saw a blue beam of light reign from the sky, it slammed into the ground with an impact so great, that the sound alone threw him into a shock. Laying on his back he looked up into the cloudy sky, and red flaming rocks were falling from the sky and slamming into the earth’s surface. Was this the end?

He stood, motionless. He couldn’t hear anything. He looked to where Sarah was driving. There was dust clearing away from where one of the rocks had fallen. Trees separated on the side of the road, just as the dust was clearing he saw the side of the blue sedan she has stolen, underneath the boulders. This was a dream, it just had to be.

Another quake in the earth sent a shockwave from the beam in the ground, totally evaporating all boulders around; and sent the crushed car flying. He could barely see the shape of Sarah’s head inside of the car, he heard a faint scream. And just then, only twenty feet from him, another Blue beam fell from the sky and completely disintegrated the car. 

“No, Sarah! No! This isn’t happening, first the divorce, then this. He needed to get out of here. And Fast. 

He turned and ran into his house, the door off its hinges and on the floor. He ran down the hall, and threw the old scratched up door off its hinges. Moving around it, he stumbled down the stairs, and opened the door to the walk in freezer. He should be safe here, for now. Flicked on the lights, slammed the door shut behind him. This was his new home.


He could still hear the noises, the lasers, and the chaos. Everything was going wrong, only fifteen minutes ago he was watching the news. He wondered if this was the only place that this was happening. Who was doing this? Was this China? England? He had no clue. All he needed to do was survive.