Is it really this simple?

I'm sitting here at 10:30pm writing this because I cannot find sleep in my consciousness. My life is before me and I seem to not be able to do anything to get myself forward. I just get motivated, and then suddenly I get hit with this wave of whispering consciousness, that's telling me I'm stupid, that I can't do anything, that I'm worthless.

But I know this is far from truth. I know that God has greater plans for me, and I know that he loves me more than I could ever comprehend. I love him so so much. He uses me as a tool in so many of my friends lives, and it's been so amazing to see them grow in faith with him, as they walk the road with him.

But here I am, stuck, and my feet are stuck to the ground, I'm to nervous about my future that I can't do anything about it. It's sad butt true, I'm week in the area of integrity. But in me I know one thing I love. Is preaching God's name, telling people the truth, and showing compassion where other's wouldn't. I love to represent forgiveness as a whole. I love who I am.

Is that my problem? Do I love who I am so much that I'm to scared to move forward in my life? That might be the case. but one thing I need to remind myself, is that I have a spiritual gift. And I know God will utilize that, for his greater glory. And I'm very happy to oblige.

I've come to the conclusion that the only thing holding me back is doubt. Because I want to go into pastoral studies, but the thing holding me back is not any part of me. It's just the demons inside of my soul telling me that I'm worthless. Why would they do that? Because I know that I have the capability to reach out my long, clumsy arms, and touch so many people's lives. That is why the devil would be working against me. It explains a lot.

I'm only wrote this for my own sanity. I just needed to clear my mind. I do apologize about this.

My name is Jonathan, and I belong to him.

Humans...

Some people like to become biologists and study animals and stuff. That's totally cool. But I like to watch Humans. I've noticed things these days. I'm sure there were ways to do what I'm about to point out. but it's gotten worse over time. I'll name the main point. and then expand on that. So here I go.


Self Consciousness: This has gone from Thinking out loud in peoples heads. To out on the interwebs. Our Example will be "Do I look fat?"...Original huh? So now we have people who used to just think it. and maybe ask someone close to them when it comes to their mind. But now it has to be out on the web. People put it out on Facebook. People come to the rescue and are all like "Ohhh! No your not fat! Your beautiful!" Which is exactly what the person wanted them to say. Now I'm wondering how people can continuously fall for the same trap over and over again? The only logical conclusion is that they aren't falling for it. I know. this is weird. But we do this without being aware of it. but we come to the rescue, knowing that we'll need it eventually. Is this the circle of life? I don't know. But its getting weirder and weirder as things go.




(Psychological term): I don't know what it is. But this is something I've always found fascinating over time. But its kind of like this.

Sir #1: (Drops wallet)

Sir #2: (Picks up said wallet and returns it) Hey, sir #1! You dropped your wallet and I picked it up to give it to you!

Notice how Sir #2 pretty much worshiped himself over his good deed? People do things like this over and over again. Picking up garbage off the street and looking around wondering if anyone saw him perform this public of amazingness. He should get a gold medal, a plaque, and a one way ticket to heaven.

Seriously its stupid. I know you like to be recognized for what we do. But for every dumb thing you do, do you look around  wondering if anyone saw you perform this public display of stupidity? No! You Don't. Well some people do. that leads to the next topic.


I don't even know what to call this either. So...(Throws that idea out the window) This is a really simple topic to get, so I don't need to explain much. So here I go...

...People do stupid things to get attention. Specifically members of the Male Gender.





Either way! Its Late! And I need to get to bed! Enjoy reading! And have a wonderful weekend!